I recently turned sixty-six. Wow. And other than the fact I no longer have to worry Social Security will be taking bites out my checks … it’s also not exactly a number I was looking forward to on the age scale of life.
The funny thing was up until the actual day I honestly believed I was only (only? ugh!) turning sixty-two. And had it not been for my daughter ringing me bright and early with a chipper happy birthday song followed up by “so how does it feel to be sixty-seven?” I would have remained blissfully ignorant.
I’m not sure it’s actually a denial thing why I seem to forget how old I am or simply a case of wishful thinking. I do know though, like most people, I’ve struggled over a lifetime to coalesce my outer shell now lined with enough wrinkles to rival a Shar-Pei, with my inner shell as ageless as time itself. And it’s a struggle that continues still. A struggle that ebbs and flows, that blooms and deflates, that sings with confidence and moans with defeat.
I know nothing is perfect. I know that the mirror is just a mirror and what truly matters lies much deeper. I know I’m lucky in so, so many ways. I’ve got my health. I get to do what I want every single day. And more importantly, I’m surrounded by those who love me … for me.
What more can I ask for?
Perhaps I can answer that best by saying: Getting older may have some perks, dimming mental spark plugs is not one of them. So on my journey toward a wiser me, a me that has become more accepting, more full, more true to herself, I’ve taken the liberty of writing down a handful of things I feel might shed some light on your journey, that is while I still can remember them.
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1. Life is a compilation of defining moments. Precious and rare and boundlessly filled with joy, tenderness, heartbreak, beauty, braces, babies, and mortgage payments all rolled up together.
2. Everything always has a way of working itself out. Maybe not in the way you expected. But give it a moment. Take a breath, and let the universe do its thing.
3. The perception of importance rests entirely with you. How you see yourself shouldn’t be dictated by others. This is a biggie.
4. As much as I hate to admit it, chocolate isn’t a food group. But it is right up there with my protein shakes.
5. Ignorance is not bliss. Sticking your head in the sand is not the way to handle pressure, anxiety, and all that crap that lands in your lap. If you want change, then you have to be part of that change. It will be the most empowering thing you’ll ever do.
6. Despite what people project, we’re more alike than we’re different. Underneath our Dolce & Gabbana and TJ Maxx specials, we’re all scared human beings. To some degree or another, we’re also screwed up, we’re needy, insecure, and even broken. This is undeniable. Which is why being judgmental has no place between us. The bottom line is this: we’re just people — people seeking the same thing on the same path. We’re just in different places, heading in different directions along the way.
7. Be at peace with your surroundings. Lord Byron said, “There is pleasure in the pathless woods, there is rapture in the lonely shore, there is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar; I love not Man the less, but Nature more.” So, go take that walk on the beach and give your soul a shot in the arm. Everything else will wait.
8. Happiness starts and ends with you. We tend to look outside ourselves for those things we need. As social beings getting those nurturing intangibles are paramount to our emotional survival. But that nurturing can only take you so far. You don’t need to be loved at the cost of being you.
9. Friends are those people who stick around when no one else does. They’re your rocks of granite, your cheering squads, telling those truths you might otherwise not want to hear. And if you end up with just one, well, then you’re luckier than most.
10. Finding those passions are gold. Most of us spend our entire lives searching. What we maybe fail to notice is that what stirs us doesn’t always have to be this one great thing. It could be a bunch of small things that put the happiness chip back in. And ultimately isn’t that all that matters? The joy?
11. Take care of your teeth. Floss daily and get cleanings at least once a year. You’ll thank me later!
12. Stay in shape as best you can. Get down on the mat, stretch those legs, take walks, take bike rides. Anything to keep you physically and mentally alert. This is another one of those things that need doing and doing regularly.
13. Humility. I don’t imagine this comes readily to anyone under the age of thirty. But eventually, you learn that you don’t know everything. You’re not the best at everything, and if you want to get anywhere in life you must first take those baby steps — just like everyone else.
14. Family is everything and sometimes they’re nothing. They are the most frustrating relationships you’ll ever have to tackle.
15. Similar to #7 … this one is making peace with all those things hanging around in your refrigerator. Yes, I do mean the ice cream, the tacos, the chocolate chip cookies. No more battles. If you want that slice of cake, I say fuck it. Eat the damn thing!
16. Reaching out to those less fortunate and less capable is our human responsibility. People, children, animals, all those that cannot fend for themselves deserve to be shown even a morsel of love and kindness. It’s not rocket science.
17. Death. This is what I perceive to be the hardest thing you’ll be forced to bear. Losing those people you can’t imagine your life like without. When they die, a huge chunk of you will die too. It’s a loss you will never fully get beyond. But maybe that’s the point … you’re not supposed to.
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Well, that’s what I’ve got—so far. I imagine in another few years, the list will expand because like I said … working out those personal kinks takes a lifetime. Thanks for reading. Peace and love y’all.
Love you and enjoy reading your thoughts!
Thanks love.
Love this Lauren. And I agree. I am in the same ballpark. Hey *dark* chocolate is a food group if we want it to be – or even milk chocolate. It is in that *moderation* area. In the more recent iterations of government food recommendations, many of us who talked nutrition over the years were disappointed when the category of *other* disappeared. And you may enjoy this little phrase that was on an online poster I saw this week and passed along *I am not 70. I am 18 with 52 years of experience.*
Yes I do believe dark chocolate ranks up there recommendation wise with that nightly glass of wine. In the moderation area? Hmm. I’ll have to think about that. Especially if I want to be able to reach that 70 stage and claim “I’m only 18 with 52 yrs of experience.” LOL. I love it!
FYI … I’m thrilled Kathryn you’ve come onboard to this platform.
And this is a cartoon that I am sending to some similarly *aged* people on my email list – from pajama diaries http://comicskingdom.com/pajama-diaries/2019-03-15
K
How about this..I found in a store in Holland,where I live..
Chocolate does not ask difficult questions…..Chocolate understands.
It was put on a wooden tray,yip now on a table in my house. Liefs, kitty
LOL. Love it! Like that adored pet, that sits faithfully by your side providing only love and understanding. Asking nothing in return. Thanks a mil Kitty for the read and feedback. Liefs, Lauren
Absolutely love this! Having a lot of these same epiphanies at age 66!!